Travis Pastrana to undergo risky head-transplant surgery with Malcolm McCassy?

Published April 1st, 2013

April 1, 2013: Pastrana family spokesperson B. A. Purson announced today what many had been speculating:

Travis Pastrana’s head will have to be replaced.

Repeated wearing of sponsor hats, smiling, posing for photographs, and signing autographs have taken their toll. Travis has done more for his sponsors than any other person in the history of action sports, but overuse of sponsor hats, smiling, photos, and signing autographs have prematurely worn out his head.

Team Pastrana has been trying to negotiate a deal with many people over the past few weeks for the use of someone’s head on Pastrana’s body, including Rick Johnson.

Said Johnson, “I’ll do whatever has to be done for the betterment of the sport, and especially for Travis. He’s one of my best friends. Love him. However, I am concerned for the safety of my head …

Unfortunately, Johnson and Pastrana were unable to reach terms. (Apparently Johnson wanted all of Travis’s Suzuki’s, the foam pit in Maryland, and an increased allotment of sugar free Red Bull.) Ultimately, the choice was made to use Pastrana family friend and all around good guy Malcolm McCassy‘s head for the transplant. Malcolm is rumored to have a good head.

When asked what will become of the Travis head and McCassy body, the McCassy family had this to say: “We will be working with Hollywood based Digital Domain to have the original Travis head digitally placed over the McCassy head for all podium, marketing, and photo appearances. On the chance of any free time, the Travis head and McCassy body will be working at Lake Havasu, renting water craft to tourists.

Travis himself is taking this all in stride, in typical Pastrana fashion. He says “Hey, it’ll all work out! Malcolm’s head will work! We are both size 7 1/4 … I can’t wait to get back out there and be with my fans!!!

Pastrana’s family is obviously very concerned. When reached at his front door by CNN reporters, Travis’s father had this to say: “Hey, watch me do a back flip out of this tree!”

 

 

 

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